Life Lessons Learned In My 30's That I Wish I Know Earlier

If only I knew then what I know now.

The statement (above) is not a regret (most times) but it comes as you get to see things (life) from another angle. You've had this thought too. I know this because you are not the first person to express such thoughts, and you certainly won't be the last.

Learn A Little More, You Are Not Ready To "Nail It" 
You see, whether you like it or not, every passing minute of the day means you are getting older. A lot of growth occurs in our 20s. At 20, we convince ourselves we know everything we need to know and we're ready to nail it. I have a piece of news for you, THIS IS NOT TRUE!

As you grow older, you will realise that a lot of things you think you know, the things you think you are ready to nail are not exactly how you picture them in your head. If you are not careful, these things will nail you. Spend a little more time learning. It will make you better.

No One Owes You Anything
You are not entitled to anything. You and you alone are responsible for everything that happens to you in this life. On the surface, this might seem dark, scary, or even depressing. But when I embraced it, I found true freedom.

Debt Is Normal
Yes, you read right. Before I continue this path, let me ask one more question: Have you ever considered taking a loan to get that certification that can change your life? That is the kind of debt I am talking about. Everybody is in debt. The big CEO you know is in debt. The big companies you see around, they are in debt. So, debt is normal. Some people even call it different names. Have you ever heard of the word investors?

I love this investopedia.com definition of who an investor is:
An investor is any person or other entity (such as a firm or mutual fund) who commits capital (borrowed YOU money) with the expectation of receiving financial returns.

There are a lot of loan service agencies out there that are willing to give you a loan to get that certification that can change your life. Some of them will connect you with a good job if you are really good. They know the value they've invested in, they know you will come to them for the next big step so it is a win-win.

Seek investors, take loans, it is not a bad idea.

Fear Is A Liar
As you read this article, you have so many things you are thinking about. One of those thoughts is the fear of "How To" 
In my 20's, I used to worry about so many things. So far, in my 30’s I have been the exact opposite. On most days, I look in the mirror and I’m proud of who I’m becoming. What changed? Two things.

1. I identify that fear is a liar
2. I make a move every time I recognise an opportunity

I have been opportune to meet with people who I was too afraid to discuss ideas with. In my 30's, all that has changed and I am still working to be a better me. The second thing is to make a move. 

Knowing that fear is a liar is a big step to living a better life. This is something I wish I knew in my early 20's. 

Only fear can stop you from making a move. Now that you know fear is a liar, you have to make that move. Be bold, take that first step. The worst that can happen is for you to get a no for an answer. But guess what:

No, Is Not The End Of The Journey
Let me burst your head. I recently signed a deal with a company that told me NO four times (last year). The same account officer, the same organisation, the same idea. What changed? I was consistent in what I do, and they came to realise that I am an asset to what they intend to do. 
Assuming I quit when I get my first or second NO from them, you know what that means, it would have been a loss for me because they will eventually need me but I will not be there to give the service they want. 

You Don't Have To Cut People Off, Just Define Your Friendship
Everyone you see have their own usefulness no matter how little. So, do not cut people off because you think you are bigger, smarter, or better than them. That is so dumb. 

I was so dumb in my 20's because I cut a lot of people off. This is because I failed to define the friendship I had with these people. If I noticed that you are not in-line with my way of life or you are "currently" not adding value to my life, I WILL CUT YOU OFF.

In my 30's, I am better at handling people. Everyone is important in their own ways. The man who shines your shoe down the road can be the one to save your life from hoodlums. A friend who got a job at an oil company told me his dad got the information from a cleaner of the company. 

In my 30's, I have come to the realisation that friendship is life. You cannot do life alone. You need friends but most importantly, you need to define your friendship with people.

Once you define your friendship with people, you will know how to relate to them. You don't have to cut people off, just define the friendship.

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2 Comments

  1. Great read... Though i have a different opinion of debt... Personally i know some people who are debt free and living an ideal life for the 99%.

    All in all awesome read

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  2. Good write up,

    But the truth of the matter is when one is now well learned and exposed to some extent, intimidation and low self esteem sets in, thereby depriving oneself of true knowledge.

    But the write up about the aspect of debt I am not comfortable with. There are millions of graduate in one way or the other tool loans to complete their studies and get a good degree and get a promising jobs to pay back, are still indebted till date because of lack of jobs. But with proper planning, one can be financially free and still achieve life’s purpose.

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